It’s hard to put into words what I feel right now Mum, every time I try I just come undone. Your voice, your laugh and your pure, kind soul, has left such a huge unfillable hole. Trying not to beat myself up about things left unsaid, watching videos of you when I’m alone in bed, worried I’ll forget the sound of your voice, wishing I could go back in time like I have the choice. You were my light in the dark, my constant guide, from you there was nothing that I could ever hide. They say losing your mum makes you feel untethered but it’s more than that, it’s a pain you can’t measure. Thank you for loving me in the way that you did, giving me the best life both now and as a kid. It’s makes me mad that you could not stay, but you left me for dad, and that’s ok. You’ve missed him since he left, it’s been 5 long years, and thinking of you together really brings on the tears. So please watch from afar as we try to make you proud, and we remember your life always, and my god was it loud. xx